Friday, January 26, 2007
Tip: Do not store your drawer liner paper scent in the same box as your sealing wax unless your drawer liner paper scent is securely enclosed in an airtight, leak-proof container.
Why? Because, believe it or not, the drawer liner paper scent has a corrosive effect on your sealing wax, and will cause the wax to melt all over the inside of your sealing wax box, much like it would if you had melted it over a flame - only in a more liquid fashion.
Tip: When you attempt to wash the corroded, liquified portion of your sealing wax away in an effort to save what's left of your sealing wax, don't do so with bare hands.
Why? You'll find that using running water and gently rubbing your sealing wax with your bare hands will result in drawer paper liner-smelling, extremely waxy hands.
Tip: Keep your kitchen well stocked with paper towels.
Why? You'll find that, in the occasion that you make the mistake of washing the drawer liner paper scent corrosion off of your sealing wax with your bare hands, soap and water isn't going to do the trick to clean your hands, and you'll really wish that you had kept your kitchen better stocked with paper towels.
Tip: Keep your bathroom well stocked with petroleum jelly. And washcloths.
Why? You'll find that, in the occasion that you get your hands completely and hopelessly coated in drawer liner paper-scented corroded sealing wax and you are out of paper towels, your one hope will be to smother your fingers in petroleum jelly. The wax will wash away with the jelly and rub away with a washcloth.
Tip: Seal your letters during the day, not as a pre-bedtime activity.
Why? You'll find that, in the event that you make a complete mess of yourself in an effort to re-order your sealing wax box which had an unfortunate run-in with drawer liner paper scent, you won't want to be up at all hours of the night cleaning your hands - you'd rather be sleeping.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Rosie preps. Deirdre sneaks up from behind. Hehe.
Fortunately for this Elena, there was a Zorro at the event. Actually, there were two. The whole picture taking process was a little tricky... it ended up coming down to a kinda nasty sword duel to see who would get to pose. This guy pulled out the old cut-the-chandelier-from-its-rope-to-kill-the-opponent move, so he ended up in the shot.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Thursday, January 04, 2007
I was on a southbound bus on Fifth Avenue recently when a well-dressed woman on the shady side of middle age boarded. She spotted a friendly face across the aisle and cried out — with dignity — “How are you?”
The second woman looked equally pleased and they sat together and spoke of their surprise at not bumping into each other for so long and how well they each looked, and then plotted lunch at Barney’s.
First Woman: “You know, you look so different. By the way, how’s Mel?”
Second Woman: (Pause) “Who’s Mel?”
First Woman: (Another pause) “Aren’t you Ruth?”
Second Woman: “My name is Sandy.”
First Woman: (Pulling herself together and reassessing the situation) “Well, my name is Carol and we can still have lunch.”
They both got off at 59th Street — the stop for Barney’s.Ken Gross