Saturday, April 01, 2006

Manny Retires

Manny Being Retired!

Manny now has time to get his hair done

(Boston Globe File Photo)

BDD Has Learned Manny Ramirez Will Retire to Brazil Before the
2006 Season Rather Than Suffer Any More Hardship in Boston

Renowned Red Sox slugging savant Manny Ramirez told a source close to BDD that he will retire from the game of baseball, effective immediately, in an attempt to avoid the publicity and restaurant harrassment that comes with playing and living in Boston. Red Sox GM Theo Epstein, who called this move a minor setback, is expected to make an official announcement this afternoon.

Ramirez, who sources say made the decision yesterday while deciding he didn't want to fly to Texas via Philadelphia, is expected to spend a year with his family in Brazil before coming back to the States to become a commentator on ESPN's Baseball Tonight. Wily Mo Pena is expected to take Manny's spot as the starting left fielder.

While most Red Sox will miss Manny's presence and right-handed power, some players privately said they had had enough of the "Manny being Manny" phenomenon that the media ate up hook, line, and sinker. David Ortiz, who will miss Manny's lineup protection the most, reportedly is not happy with the possibility of being walked 200 times this season. ... Oh, and while you are digesting this story, don't forget to check the calendar.

2 comments:

Wilson said...

this freaked me out so bad

Nefertitichild said...

Oh my gosh!!!!! I am so relieved!!!! I thought there was something fishy about "Manny" and "commentator" being in the same sentence...