12) You can curse better in arabic than you can in English.
11) You bristle anytime someone says "My mom makes the best..."
10) You brewed beer long before you drank a bottle.
9) You aren't phased by many kids sprinting towards a large, multi-passenger car screaming, "middle-middle! middle-middle!" "middle-left! middle-left!"
8) You dread asking for seconds of your favorite dinner, lest it be followed by, "More chicken? More chicken? Lovely day!"
7) You dread bringing friends home for dinner lest they fail to want seconds -- immediately.
6) You would rather eat dirt than say anything good about Derek Jeter or A-Rod.
5) The dirtiest word you've ever heard your father say is Blast!
4) You don't "unload the dishwasher," you "deal with the dishes." You don't "fold the clothes," you "deal with the laundry." You don't "prepare a video for recording" you "deal with the tape." In fact, half of the verbs in your vocabulary can be substituted by the word "deal."
3) The phrases dudehogger, "hecky Moses", traipsing fluid, and "Theaws a Bwiggow, theaws a Bwiggow, theaws a Bwiggow, in da vinciteee!" mean anything to you.
2) If you See That Road Over There...
1) You develop a profound pyschological disorder if you are deprived of ice cream for more than a week.